Jeff Greene has found a way to belatedly jump into the Florida Senate race and win the democratic primary. He is a proud owner of a time machine.
Jeff Greene's Time Travel Agenda:
1. Circa 2006
- Greene will try to convince himself not to steal financial ideas from John Paulson to kick start his involvement in the bank crisis. He will tell himself not to hedge his real-estate investments by shorting subprime mortgages via credit default swaps. Scientists warned meeting his past self may collapse the space time continuum. A Greene spokesman responded "...but running for senate demands a candidate that didn't help create the recession. "
2. Circa 1980's
- Greene will spawn in front of Harvard business school, disguised in pink-rimmed sunglasses and acid-washed jeans, to warn himself not to register under the GOP or to run as a GOP member. He will tell himself that running for an open seat in the California House will fail and that it just looks bad to his democratic primary since he won't be challenging an incumbent. He will also suggest that he moves to Florida before 2008.
3. Circa fall 2008
- Greene will intersect with actor Ron Howard before his past-self offers a six-month lease of a home in Brentwood for $28,500 a month. This time he will be truthful to Howard and inform him that the home is infested with rats, has faulty appliances and that the water is polluted. He will not tell Howard that this will save himself a $616,000 dollar lawsuit.
4. Circa winter 2008
- Greene will pay a challenger to fight against Mike Tyson on the day of his wedding so that the convicted rapist will no longer be able to attend as his best man.
5. March 2008
-Greene will call his mother and ask that she google Heidi Fleiss before attending Passover dinner. Mrs. Greene will no longer attend nor condone that Heidi remain a house guest in her son's home.
6. September 2009
- Greene will ask his friend Paris Hilton to
persuade the Tampa Tribune Editor not to publish:
“Greene was a Pioneer in Credit-Default Swaps and Got Out Before the Financial Implosion.”
The editor will instead publish,
"I thank Greene for making my dreams come true, albeit temporarily."
Be sure to vote on the poll at the top right: "Who do you think is most electable?"